drawing

I have been making time to draw.  Too much desk time munches away at my soul.  I have been busy in the business part of art.  I must pave a path for the latest sculpture series and then a whole new realm for me to rally the funds needed to place the bison bench sculpture at the airport (more about that later). Frankly, I get downright grumpy if I am not creating or adventuring.  Squeezing in studio time gives me a glimmer of freedom to create and shines a beam of light as I forge forward through the trudging part of the journey as an artist.  Every adventure has trudge and drudge not-so-exciting and often miserably painful moments.  The adventure could be a summit, a relationship or a career – things that involve passion, purpose and intent.  No matter how exciting the peak or how rewarding the journey, often much time is spent in non-glorious actions.  Ah – but a whiff of the vision – a glimpse of beauty, a hug, or a tiny victory can keep me going like the Energizer Bunny.  A wee bit of studio time is a promise to myself of a future with MORE studio time once again.

So each day I stand in front of my easel to face the tantalizing fear and promise of blank paper; seductive and frightening.  For a few moments or hours I slurp color onto paper, grinding it impossibly dark under my nails as a powdered rainbow of color falls at my feet below the easel.  I find myself buoyed between the kind of light-hearted-full-of-possibilities kind of laughter and the soul-wrenching swarm of sadness-near-to-tears emotion as I draw.  Open.  I search and feel through color.  A bit lost.  A bit found.  Klutzy.  But no matter how I feel during the process of drawing, afterward I feel somehow better.  Renewed, not unlike the feeling after a grueling workout when progress cannot be instantly seen but felt somehow.  I enter my office with the post-workout feeing of progress which fuels the uphill moments while working the business part of art – which in turn will create the financial freedom to sculpt once again the zillion ideas dancing and stomping loudly in my soul.