Light is a guide and friend to me. Even the tiniest sliver of light - though elusive - exists and can be found during the darkest times if I surrender and open myself to the painful scary places.

A lifetime of severe insomnia; chronic drenched darkness invited demons to dance. I was tough. But tough wasn’t enough. Tough actually got in the way of progress with something as allusive and temperamental as sleep. I’ve traveled dozens of healing paths, spent thousands and thousands of dollars, made progress and lost footing. Finally I came to grips with and accepted my fate as a non-sleeper. I resolved to “make do” with less sleep than most, sincerely thankful the worst chronic cycles of insomnia were behind me (several times in my life I averaged a total of 6-8 hours of sleep every 2-3 days for months at a time).

Last spring my dear friend Alan, a medical scientist and visionary told me in no definitive terms that what I considered acceptable progress and “normal for me” (4-6 hours of fitful sleep waking 6 -12 times a night) was actually not acceptable. New resolve; more journeys and breakthroughs. Sweet sleep.

Raymond took this photo last week while I balanced on a rock on top of a local summit. Full of gratitude for the sleep fullness gained during the last year. I no longer label myself as an insomniac. I am embracing a new chapter where I get to fine-tune sweet sleep.

I am dreaming again.

Parts of myself I hadn’t realized I’d lost are showing up. I sip and slurp light - not for survival but in celebration.

Full of gratitude.