Queen of the Night

 “Queen of the Night” is the series I completed during the darkness.  Like the people of Bhutan who pilgrimage to monasteries perched like bird nests on cliffs, each piece in the series is a step in my pilgrimage toward the light.

 Since the dog pack attack in the spring of 2015, both my body and the studio carried a cranky awkward unfamiliarity. Detached. My dearest friend Cliff championed my return to the studio the following spring. I would arrive at dawn to see smoke billowing from the chimney and Cliff’s tracks in the snow. The fire he built crackled encouragement; the warmth a heartfelt hug. My body grew stronger. My mother’s body weakened.

Cliff died. 

Numbness settled into bones still unsettled by the dog trauma. Grief lived loud within my being; suppressed while my heart stretched through intense emotions as Alzheimer’s ripped and tore my mother’s mind. I bathed, dressed and fed her. She willed herself alive long enough to witness my marriage – a blessing.  For nine days and nights after my wedding I tended my mother during her final days – another blessing.

Two weeks after mother’s death, I packed the rose printed sheets purchased to embellish the hospice-at-home hospital bed, traveled to my aunt and uncle’s place and took care of mother’s sister. Cancer greedily ravaged her body from the inside out. I bathed, dressed and fed her. She died on my mother’s birthday.

Bhutan kicked my ass. 

Part of the ass-kicking came from Mother Nature. Three trips over the ocean to live within the majesty of the Himalayan mountains during various seasons but even the warm seasons were “unseasonably cold” - brutal when spending long days carving outside. The natural light needed to release images in wood was torturously elusive. Persistent wet cold camped out in my bones. Challenges on top of challenges – I dug deep.

Last Fall I completed the carving for the king and returned home. Depression hung a heavy wool cloak onto my cold tired body.  Beneath the itchy weight of the wool, I tentatively, quietly got back to work. “Queen of the Night” is the series I completed during the darkness.  Like the people of Bhutan who pilgrimage to monasteries perched like bird nests on cliffs, each piece in the series is a step in my pilgrimage toward the light.