blunt-ness

The last few sips of hot tea-turned-luke-warm are simply not enough comfort for the stinging rawness of the chapter I just read in Judy Blunt's book "Breaking Clean."  Left me both numb and the polar opposite - which is what?  Fine hair-raising hyper sensitive....tingly.  Feelings similar to those at the top of climbing a frozen waterfall - awe and relief at the beauty and luck of being alive, fingers and toes frozen, lungs pumping, cheeks stinging, humbled and triumphant. 

Deep breath….heart stretched…

"The Year of the Horse" - the hair on my arm stands up when I think of that chapter.  My heart hurts for the porcupine, the wadded up and bloodied pj's hidden under her bed and that ridiculously white suitcase with pink lining (for me it was the unwelcome gift of a small plasticky white microwave with pink lettering that looked like it belonged in a Barbie Doll house and certainly not in the two-room Main Street apartment without a bathroom where the kitchen was more of a studio than a place to sit and eat).  I didn’t even believe in microwaves – and of course my parents knew that.

I want to brew another cup of tea, top it with a Sunday morning indulgent dollop of Bailey's, bake some brownies, turn off the cell phone and write.  Not because I'm any good at it - but because Judy Blunt is SO good at it.  I can't read the next chapter - full-to-overflowing from the last one.  I feel like the lumbering klutzy porcupine - stunned after the first unwarranted blow, curled around my tender belly.  Exposed.  Yet the desire to wield a thick branch like a club and momentarily master my fears by whatever means is woven into the fabric of my being.  Survive.  Thrive.

A friend recommended the book over tea one morning last month.  I went straight to Elk River Books to purchase a used copy.  I haven't gotten to the chapter she mentioned that morning (about ranch families coming out to light the road so that a young husband could get his pregnant wife through the fog and bog to the doctor).  Since spring I have carved out time to read – finding a familiar part of myself lost in the struggle to survive financially.  My return to reading feeds inspiration and bolsters belief in my purpose.  The idea of "survive" has a clinging and clawing feel to it.  A shift in attitude, a deep breath and "survival" turns simply into "challenge" - something like a frozen waterfall worth the effort and pain of getting my feet off the ground and scaring myself on the journey to the top.  I felt a big shift in so many things last month.  After HATCH, after several encounters with passionate people, after increasing synchronicities; I am aware of support.  A community has come out on a cold blizzard night with headlights and flashlights beaming to help keep me on the path of my calling - to birth the next sculpture series (and the next after that).

I highly recommend the book.

jesus rays

Autumn light greets me with the welcome familiarity of a dear old friend.  My awareness of how little time we have together enhances our bond.  I revel in the attention of the warmth on my shoulders, sun caressing hilltops and peaks lit theatrically in the distance.  My urge is to cling, hug, stare and simply ooze love on this dear precious friend of mine.

Our time romping together was intensely short this year. Momma Nature has been switching her tunes like a DJ at a school dance with a preference for harsh cold music punctuated with wind, snow and rain. October began with a dump of a foot and a half of snow at my place but instead of the usual early snowstorm followed by an “Indian Summer” – we got more snow, rain and snow.  Not until the final week of the month did Momma Nature play more languid warm-fuzzy slow songs.  The glory of autumn’s rich golden yellow and red tapestry was at last unrolled beneath the snow-topped peaks- time to shed some clothes and dance in the autumn light! 

I worked for hours before the sun came up each day and into the afternoon before grabbing a bike or running shoes but always my dog and heading out to grin and spin on the plush vibrant rug.  I soaked up the sideways sunrays and caught an occasional misplaced sliver of moon in the middle of the afternoon hangdogging above my head.

Mostly I mountain biked so that all the lush aroma and crisp raw beauty could be experienced up close and personal.  We actually mountain biked up Lewis and Clark the first weekend of November (possibly the first time I have mountain biked in Montana that late in the season).  Three days of 10 degree weather and snow blowing sideways happened between the last two rides – the DJ zealously mixing up the music.  Yesterday I realized the gift revealed after the super short prime autumn weather is that it forced me to take a FULL day off each of the last two weekends.  Something I forget to do and realize (once again) the importance of a WHOLE day – outside of my studio and my office.  Reinvigorated – I return to the studio and swear I can feel the Jesus rays inside.

sharp beauty

The barbwire is a hundred years old, pulled from the bottom of fences on local ranches when replaced with antelope-friendly wire along corridors where the graceful creatures migrate.  My dear friend Joe Joe was working on the antelope project and told me about the barbwire.  Much of what I have collected actually came from the ranch along the Yellowstone at Tom Minor Basin, which is managed by another dear friend Vern (I introduced the two).  The barbwire is beautiful, potent and perfect for the “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” series.  Multi-layered meanings, powerful energy plus connections through dear friends and special places are woven into this wire.

The gold leaf…well…I have recently become infatuated with the stuff!!  I love the soft subtle beauty of wood grain showing through the super thin metal leaf.  The gentle glow becomes more hardened and harsh in photos.  Trust me - photos don’t do the magical stuff justice.  But - can I just say…”mmmmm…..?!”

Finally – there is another delicate detail that remains elusive in most photos (this one included).  All three sculptures in this series have a slightly metallic surface to the carved wood background on the face.  Layers and layers of stain are coupled with a process I am perfecting to produce a slight unexpected sheen to the surface.  One sculpture’s background looks like pewter, another is copper and this sculpture has a golden hue – less yellow than the photo and more richly enticing.

New ventures with mediums – so many possibilities…

stuck moments

The guidebook said “a skinny person” could fit through the small hole at the top of the chimney on the second pitch of “Skyline Buttress” – otherwise the pitch could be completed by traversing out of the chimney onto the face of the tower.  Marylee and I are girls so obviously we wanted to be officially classified as “skinny” – thus the hole drew us in.

The five-pitch climb is a classic in Gallatin Canyon.  We were intent to squeeze out one more adventure together on rock before winter set in.  We hiked with Zaydee along the Gallatin River, through golden trees and up the slope through snowy patches to the base of the tower.  We warmed our hands and began the climb (and then warmed our hands again and again).  Sun warmed the rock above us and beckoned through that enticing wee hole at the top of the chimney.  Marylee led the pitch, poked through the hole and got super stuck.  I offered calm encouragement from below.  She squirmed and struggled for over 10 minutes saying over and over – “I’m seriously stuck” but laughing between grunts.  Fluffy down feathers floated drunkenly across the blue sky above the hole – the tight squeeze had ripped her down jacket – a gift from Lynn Hill.

While I waited, watched and encouraged Marylee, I plotted.  Marylee had shoes hanging from her harness for the walk off the top – definitely a disadvantage in the small hole.  My shoes were in the backpack I carried.  Once Marylee made it through the hole and built an anchor, I clipped the pack to my harness so that it would dangle below me while I navigated the chimney and started to climb.  Just below the hole I tied the pack to the rope and had Marylee pull it through the triangle shaped opening above my head.  Now it was my turn.

I got stuck.

I didn’t have the same amount of gear on my harness as Marylee but I do have some rather serious “booty” which did NOT want to fit through the tight space.  My feet dangled in air while I tried to slither my way through.  The dangling feet, stuck butt and awkward situation made for a super DORK moment.  Actually I experience similar moments in the studio – stuck – exposed – dangling precariously.  Mostly my life isn’t on the line in the studio but my vision and creation is – and of course it is my duty to push the boundaries beyond my comfort zone while creating.  The business part of art creates constricting super dork moments as well.  Dangling awkwardly between my vision and the means to make it happen; I humbly realize the need for support, partnership and encouragement during those moments. Good humor helps.  Gratitude fills me.

i never promised you a rose garden series complete

Three sculptures.  A trinity.  Complete.

How do I know when a series is complete?  What about all the pages full of sketches with multiple other sculptures in this series that haven’t been created?   While I honestly didn’t know when I embarked on this series just how many sculptures would happen – I knew it would be at least three but thought it would most likely be five.  My first reliquary series had five sculptures – enough to feel like a forest when installed in a museum gallery or a corporate lobby.  I thought five might be necessary to feel like a “garden” for the “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” series.  But three is – well – perfect (for multiple reasons).

The unexplored sketches might morph into the next series or they may lie forever dormant.  The pages (and pages) of sketches for this series in my sketchbook are part of the process.  I have my ideas – the logs have their own.  We work together; compromise and surprise each other.  Each unexplored sketch is part of the journey and gets me to the final sculptures.

Part of the story behind this series was shared on stage during my TEDx talk.  I plan to share more.  Stay tuned...

(photo by John Zumpano)

me on a billboard...?

The phone call came early this spring telling me about a project the local committee for tourism planned to launch featuring local “characters.”  My first guess was they wanted me to paint or sculpt some local character(s) and I wondered how I would find the time.  But as I listened, it became apparent they considered ME a local character and wanted to feature me on a billboard.

Hmmmm…..

Self-employed people like me are suppose to welcome any and all publicity.  But a billboard….?!!!  Me?!!!  The photo shoot was sweet, friendly and fun.  Artist Brad Bunkers and photographer Lynn Donaldson were in charge of the images.  Luckily I had one carving that would fit up the stairs and in the makeshift studio – which seemed more like a place for rats, spiders and ghosts than a fancy photo shoot.  Meaningfully – the sculpture was created as a tribute to dear Freeman and Daisy Butts.  Daisy had just passed away so it gives me “warm-fuzzies” to have their energy on the billboard.  I also like the idea that an artist is next to a champion bull rider – that there is equal value and attraction to the two as “celebrities.”  How cool is that for the art world?

final piece in the latest series...

HATCHfest

I have been beautifully buried in HATCH.

What is HATCH? HATCH is a meeting of the minds and hearts of soulful people. Part summit/part retreat - one hundred people are selected from various disciplines and invited to Montana to spark, fuel, support, mentor, share and inspire each other during a four-day intensive with the intention to “HATCH a better world.” Check out their video here:

Two days “off the grid” at a resort ranch near Big Sky and two days “on the grid” in the heart of Bozeman – we shared mentoring sessions, panel discussions, soulful lightning speeches, film screenings, jam sessions and artful food with Emmy award winning musicians, inspired producers, CEO’s, corporate consultants, NY Times Bestselling authors, top social media experts, industry hackers, innovators, inventors and TED speakers. Three of my Reliquary sculptures graced the ranch retreat during the gathering. I have been HATCHed wide open. My heart stretched, my imagination was turbo-charged and my soul tickled. I am invigorated, challenged, inspired (Lordy sooooo inspired) and….exhausted!!! What a gift of an experience!  I barely have my feet back on the ground and am hardly caught up on sleep. I feel like I do after a BIG mountaineering endeavor; tuckered to my core and totally infused and inspired at the same time - and - well - validated.

I am rolling in the moonbeams, earth tremors and soul sunshine of HATCH

.

september snow

Wrote in my journal before dawn while flames danced in the stove.  Dark night gave way to dawn.  The world changed overnight.

Wonder.

just waiting for the final coat to dry...

Soooooo many layers of stain = rich beauty BUT they create super long drying times...!  I must be patient but I am itching to stand this bugger up!  Each sculpture hatches ideas...more sculptures are waiting to be born...

meet my neighbors

full of surprises (and smiles)

I am not sure where Jeffery found his dancing shoes – but boy does he have some moves…!  Pretty fun and amazing discovery in someone who insisted that he didn’t dance when I met him.  He continues to surprise me with his willingness not only to try new things but to jump in with both feet and a grin on his face.  I almost broke my fiancé a few weeks ago while introducing him to the sport of mountain biking.  Jeffery was stopped by a tree after a rather terrifying round of tumbling down a STEEP slope with his bike but he leapt up smiling.  He was covered in brush, a bit of blood, lumps, bumps and missing a shoe.  I thought for sure he would want to sell his new bike.  But a few days later we enjoyed a pleasant mellow morning bike ride between weddings on the buff trails up Cache Canyon in Jackson.  He spun me around the dance floors of a few weddings that weekend – I'm not sure who smiled more.

golden days

Crisp crunchy leaves, late afternoon and evening dramatic thunderstorms, cool bright starry nights and the light…!  Ah…the autumn light tickles my thoughts and fuels my love of the mountains. I feel such a pull to be outdoors taking in all the adventure I can as the days grow shorter, but my studio work is equally captivating.  Gold leaf is adding a new dimension of feeling, playful light and interesting surface.  The soft glowing gold niche magically opens the insides even further – as if glimpsing the soul within.

art and adventure - splendid perfect weekend away

Heels to cowboy boots (and plenty of wardrobe changes between) – the long weekend adventure retreat in Jackson Hole was jam packed with giggles, guts and grace.

Thursday morning I edited and published the latest eNewsletter before 6 am yoga, worked in my studio and office until noon, then packed, ran errands and got on the road early evening.  Packing for Jackson involves an array of “prepare for anything” as you’ll see...

The evening drive to Jackson was beyond beautiful. Every time I see those peaks I'm reminded of vivid patches in a quilt of adventures stitched together with good friends. I stopped for a homemade ice-cream cone at the creamery in Driggs to eat while I drove the pass and dropped into Teton Valley just in time to change into white clothes in a Teton Village parking lot and meet girlfriends for a “white party.”  The evening was beautiful, we wore our glow-bracelets to the after-party in downtown Jackson and danced ‘til 1 am.

Friday morning I delivered Ben Roth’s sculpture to him at his studio.  I just love Ben's creative art, his kind soul and energetic spirit!  I could have stayed in his studio all afternoon to "talk shop" but took off to meet artist Kathryn Mapes Turner at a historic ranch owned by Birdie.  Kathryn had spent the morning plein-air painting on the ranch as part of the “painting Jackson Hole Open Spaces” collaborative project with the Jackson Hole Land Trust.  What a treat!!  I love artists who care and give back!

My girlfriend Leslie zipped home after work Friday night to pack, we arrived at the Teton Ranger Station 3 minutes ‘til closing for our backcountry permits and were a bit surprised at the cumbersome bear barrel we were given since neither one of us have camped below 10,000 feet before in the Tetons.  Somehow I managed to stuff the barrel into my pack with the gear and we took off at 8 pm for a lovely sunset and moonlit hike up Death Canyon.  We filled up with water at the stream, then scrambled up the scree slope with our heavy packs to the cave below “The Snaz” (a classic Teton climb).  We cooked yummy freeze-dried lasagna and ate a decadent bakery desert before turning in around midnight.  We enjoyed the perfect cool weather, the splendid night-time view of the lake below and just the pure joy of a comfy bivy in a beautiful place.

The 7-pitch climb, “The Snaz” on Saturday deserves its own lengthy blog post.  I panted and clawed my way up the cliff – certainly out of shape from the last few summers of hardly climbing but it was grand, golden, humbling and so worth it!!  Despite my rather klutzy slow ascent, we got down before the sun cooked us on the cliff.  The bear barrel beat my backside a bit on the hot sunny trail out that afternoon.  We arrived at Leslie’s after 5, grabbed showers, gussied up and zipped off to the finale of the summer symphony series.

Sushi after symphony, then we crashed a wedding (bride and groom friends of Leslie’s and the lead singer in the band the beautiful talented Jeni Flemming – a friend of mine).  So half a dozen of us girls danced with grins and ate bits of pie until the band called it a night.

Sunday morning I packed Leslie’s bike, made her breakfast and coaxed her out of bed to meet another girlfriend for a stellar mountain bike ride on the Ridge Trail near the Teton Pass.  Gorgeous sweet buff trail – such a blast of beauty sweetened by good company.  We did a loop, I hitched a ride back to the truck, then we once again had less than an hour to shower and put together “polo” outfits.  Good thing I threw in a pair of cowboy boots…!  Polo is a whole other subculture – new to me but stunning setting with the green grass, stout margaritas and Teton range backdrop…!  A grocery, a quick bit of end-of-season shopping at gear store and it was time to pluck and clean greens for our dinner party.  Art, life and adventure – the topic of conversation while drinking bubbly wine and eating scrumptious made-with-love food shared with two dear friends.

Monday I woke before dawn to journal and read until the sun peaked its head over the horizon. I drove the mountain pass in its full morning sunshine glory, then continued home on the leisurely scenic drive.

I found a super book for my mom at the Book Peddler in West Yellowstone (and a scone for me).  Joy beamed through my bones after a long weekend packed with memory making, endurance testing, relationship building adventure and fun in the Tetons.

plenty o' bear (or bear poop anyway)

Big o'l pile of bear poop in my driveway - I took the photo on my daily "commute" from my cabin to the studio.  Since then I have stumbled onto a "bear poop photo series" since it has been a bear-poop-filled-week.  Multiple piles on an early morning run along the Yellowstone River and then yesterday a few more piles while I busted out a quick hike behind my cabin up the mountain before gussy-ing up and bouncing down the mountain in my truck to the Livingston Art Walk.  A few more photos elicited plenty of comments on my Facebook page.   I just LOVE bears and find myself grinning at the thought of one taking a squat in my driveway.

sometimes ya have to take it off...

My judgment was off.  I had a certain color in mind.  I thought it would be best to blend and match the frame of the niche to the 100-year-old barbwire cage.  But after a few layers of stain followed by a rather brave dark layer it became apparent that I was wrong.  I knew the layer of stain was too dark while I was applying it Sunday afternoon but I continued because I planned more layers of lighter opaque color to mimic the patina on the old barbwire.

I was certainly sleep deprived after a long bout of insomnia.  I was also distracted.  Maybe I was just getting a little too eager to see the sculpture complete.  Regardless.  The simple fact is the “oops” factor became apparent.  The “oops” didn’t go away after I left the studio.  When I returned the following morning the mistake was even more apparent.

Here’s the deal; one has to be willing to fail in order to create.  Period.  One time while talking about being an artist with grade school children in Florida, I was asked, “What do you do when you make a mistake?”  I explained that a good deal of art making was about making mistakes – that pretty much everything I do might not be the right thing but the most important part is to simply do it.  Am I ever scared?  OFTEN.  Do I do it anyway?  Yup.

Just think of explorers.  They didn’t have a map.  Backtracking was part of moving forward in the big picture of things.  Mountaineering?  Ditto.  How about this quote which describes my life and a good deal of my process,

“Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha.”  Robert Brault

May the cha-cha continue…

east rosebud hike - wild raspberries, gushing stream and good company

featured in Big Sky Journal

Fresh off the press!  The latest mention of me (and my work of course!) in a glossy magazine.

The article features painter Wendy Marquis as well as author Christopher Paolini - "Three Different Montana Artists Draw Inspiration from the Natural Environment"  Great company with two accomplished peeps!

Big Sky Journal is a fine publication and this is an exceptional issue focused on the arts.

Big Sky Journal, "Arts" Issue 2013"

Well now - this is my 4th feature in a magazine this year...

two happy gals

let the layering begin...!