I have never been good at meditation. The pure raw sit still and chill chore eludes me. I lead a rather contemplative and yes even meditative life on this mountain, in my cabin and at the studio. My work is infused with spiritual energy. I do yoga. I experience moments of being present through my work and in my life. But to sit down, clear my mind and be still is nearly impossible for me. I cannot even drive my truck in a normal “sit and drive” manor. One at a time, my feet migrate to the seat and the dashboard, unnerving my occasional passenger. These feet cannot be still.
Something urges me to attempt meditation. Not often, but every now and then during the last two decades I feel meditation give me a friendly nudge – like a dog seeking attention. I usually ignore the nudge all together until the dog quietly gives up. But the critter never actually leaves me alone; it just slips off to the corner, curls up and sleeps until later.
Recently the napping meditation dog woke, stretched, yawned and nudged insistently with the added pleading focused unflinching “take me out” eyes. We’d been cooped inside for days while a cold wet flurry slurry bone chilling spring storm clung to the windows. A visiting instructor at the local yoga studio offered a special mediation class that very afternoon. I shrugged. Why not?
Maybe I could actually meditate if instructed. I do enough alone.
So I slipped from flannel jammy pants to yoga pants, bundled up, shoveled and dug my way out then bounced down the mountain while snow blew sideways. The afternoon proved successful even though the sweet kind fuzzy-browed instructor began the session by telling us we were NOT trying to succeed or achieve anything.
By success I mean simply that I have paid a bit more attention to the nudging meditation dog since those few hours late that stormy Sunday afternoon. I have continued the practice. I no longer totally ignore the friendly persistent meditation dog. We hang out together a wee bit each day. I am not perfectly still. My mind is far-from-clear. But for now I will pet the pup a bit, spend a little time each day…
We may just begin to like each other.